Just like in real life, when Metalrodent sees a pretty woman through a window in Mirror's Edge Catalyst, he can't help but press himself up against the glass in a bid to grab their attention. Just like in real life, it never quite pans out.
Catalyst seems to be bringing out the worst in everyone, as when Chris discovered his son had changed the control scheme - leading to Faith's accidental death - he "slapped him and told him he was born without a soul". Harsh, but it was a necessary life lesson I think we can all agree... Right? ... No? ...
Mimics are incredibly common now, so always give them a whack first to avoid repeated embarrassment at their hands - and large teeth.
Thanks to Dark Souls III being so monumentally distracting, there hasn't been a SMITE-night in a while. I have to get my jabs in at Rodent and Plas somewhere, you understand.
To give credit where it's due, Rodent did provide a community review of DiRT Rally this week. It proved popular, as did my synopsis of gaming subscription boxes with @splendjoel on Twitter.
Glad to hear it, good sir!
Nintendo's mysterious NX sparked discussion following an out-of-the-blue release date reveal on Wednesday. It was also announced that the long-awaited Legend of Zelda game, originally scheduled for a 2015 Wii U exclusive release, would now come simultaneously to the NX in 2017. I was happy to hear this, as there's no way I'd purchase a Wii U at this late stage and it thus opens the door to me as a potential NX owner. Doesn't hurt that I can boast about the fact my six-month-old prediction came to fruition, either.
Whilst Plas and Liam were also pleased, even hoping we'd see more Wii U games reach the platform, Rob - a proud Wii U owner - was understandably disappointed.
I'm pretty pissed off at the delay; I understand it makes perfect business sense, though. There's literally nothing left of worth to come to the Wii U now - after Star Fox, I may trade it in before it becomes completely worthless.
If you're wondering how you missed that statement on the forum, don't worry, I nabbed it from an internal email. I'm sure he won't mind.
Our Game of the Year 2015, Fallout 4, forced a slice of humble pie down the gullet of Confused Johnny when he was forced to admit that the DLC he'd previously written off as "a bit meh", was in fact "just... so... much... fun!" Sinking twenty hours into building an arena to house a fight club, Johnny initially failed to realise that his champion didn't have a clean bill of health. When Preston beat "loads of other settlers, a group of four raiders, two super mutants and a Deathclaw", doping allegations began to creep in. Preston is, in fact, invincible - the first rule of a Fallout fight club is you can't be invincible, so he was justly disqualified.
Fallout 4 mods also entered open beta on PC, which will lead Chris to finally realise his dream of owning horse armour in a Bethesda game (nobody's paying the outrageous Oblivion asking price). He's also looking for a certain sort of weapon after befalling a great injustice.
I could do with someone making a cryolator type weapon, mine disappeared into the floor.
Max, our forum moderator, celebrated his birthday this week and everyone took to The Happy Birthday Thread in order to wish him well. What a nice bunch. Whilst I extended salutations in the thread, we're going to make it official with a special entry into the PTC jukebox - all together now:
Now that Max is sufficiently embarrassed, we'll wrap this sucker up.
Congratulations to TippiestRook, who won a copy of Gear Gauntlet on Xbox One in our competition. The answer was, of course, C) Stephen Matthew White. Thanks to everyone that entered and to Drop Dead Interactive for the prize.
Why not head over to our Forum, Facebook or Twitter and read up on even more of the week's happenings? Get involved in the conversation and you might even feature in a future edition.