Just like in real life, when Metalrodent sees a pretty woman through a window in Mirror's Edge Catalyst, he can't help but press himself up against the glass in a bid to grab their attention. Just like in real life, it never quite pans out.
Catalyst seems to be bringing out the worst in everyone, as when Chris discovered his son had changed the control scheme - leading to Faith's accidental death - he "slapped him and told him he was born without a soul". Harsh, but it was a necessary life lesson I think we can all agree... Right? ... No? ...
Mimics are incredibly common now, so always give them a whack first to avoid repeated embarrassment at their hands - and large teeth.
Thanks to Dark Souls III being so monumentally distracting, there hasn't been a SMITE-night in a while. I have to get my jabs in at Rodent and Plas somewhere, you understand.
To give credit where it's due, Rodent did provide a community review of DiRT Rally this week. It proved popular, as did my synopsis of gaming subscription boxes with @splendjoel on Twitter.
Glad to hear it, good sir!
Nintendo's mysterious NX sparked discussion following an out-of-the-blue release date reveal on Wednesday. It was also announced that the long-awaited Legend of Zelda game, originally scheduled for a 2015 Wii U exclusive release, would now come simultaneously to the NX in 2017. I was happy to hear this, as there's no way I'd purchase a Wii U at this late stage and it thus opens the door to me as a potential NX owner. Doesn't hurt that I can boast about the fact my six-month-old prediction came to fruition, either.
Whilst Plas and Liam were also pleased, even hoping we'd see more Wii U games reach the platform, Rob - a proud Wii U owner - was understandably disappointed.
I'm pretty pissed off at the delay; I understand it makes perfect business sense, though. There's literally nothing left of worth to come to the Wii U now - after Star Fox, I may trade it in before it becomes completely worthless.
If you're wondering how you missed that statement on the forum, don't worry, I nabbed it from an internal email. I'm sure he won't mind.
Our Game of the Year 2015, Fallout 4, forced a slice of humble pie down the gullet of Confused Johnny when he was forced to admit that the DLC he'd previously written off as "a bit meh", was in fact "just... so... much... fun!" Sinking twenty hours into building an arena to house a fight club, Johnny initially failed to realise that his champion didn't have a clean bill of health. When Preston beat "loads of other settlers, a group of four raiders, two super mutants and a Deathclaw", doping allegations began to creep in. Preston is, in fact, invincible - the first rule of a Fallout fight club is you can't be invincible, so he was justly disqualified.
Fallout 4 mods also entered open beta on PC, which will lead Chris to finally realise his dream of owning horse armour in a Bethesda game (nobody's paying the outrageous Oblivion asking price). He's also looking for a certain sort of weapon after befalling a great injustice.
I could do with someone making a cryolator type weapon, mine disappeared into the floor.
Max, our forum moderator, celebrated his birthday this week and everyone took to The Happy Birthday Thread in order to wish him well. What a nice bunch. Whilst I extended salutations in the thread, we're going to make it official with a special entry into the PTC jukebox - all together now:
Now that Max is sufficiently embarrassed, we'll wrap this sucker up.
Congratulations to TippiestRook, who won a copy of Gear Gauntlet on Xbox One in our competition. The answer was, of course, C) Stephen Matthew White. Thanks to everyone that entered and to Drop Dead Interactive for the prize.
Why not head over to our Forum, Facebook or Twitter and read up on even more of the week's happenings? Get involved in the conversation and you might even feature in a future edition.
Mirror's Edge Catalyst teased the gaming community at large over the weekend with a Closed Beta offering its opening levels and a chance to explore the city. We had a look around and James has captured our thoughts on what is shaping up to be one of EA's biggest releases this year.
Popularised by Loot Crate, there's a growing market for services that offer monthly deliveries of random merchandise themed around a subject of your choosing. Zavvi recently launched their Gamer's Edition ZBOX, so we picked up the first offering to see what exactly it had to offer gamers.
To address the elephant in the room, a quick Google search revealed that Masha and the Bear is a children's animated series originating from Russia. Why this belongs here, we have no idea.
The Halo novel, Hunters in the Dark, seems an intriguing enough read based on the opening. I'm not personally au fait with the universe's lore, but once you get past the slight sprinkling of cheddar, it seems to stand as a compelling enough story of its own. That said, I'll be sure to catch-up on events via The Master Chief Collection before continuing.
Moving onto the Pixel Bricks models, we elected to jump straight in at the deep end by putting Blanka together. Bad idea. 223 tiny pieces that don't attach to one another fantastically robustly, coupled with somewhat unclear instructions, made the construction more frustrating than fun.
You're probably still wondering what a "Gooage Spewing" Pac-Man toy is - perhaps even why anything would adopt such a revolting name.
The Sub-Zero plush, specifically modelled on the latest Mortal Kombat X variation, is a sweet little thing. He's surprisingly huggable for a stone-cold (har har) killer...
You're probably still wondering what a "Gooage Spewing" Pac-Man toy is - perhaps even why anything would adopt such a revolting name. Rather than trying to explain the toy's workings, we'll let this video do the talking.
Because that's what Pac-Man's famous for, right? We're lost for words on this one.
An encompassing gift to a person that's incredibly hard to buy for. You might get lucky and make them happy, whereas if it's full of shit, they get comeuppance for being so difficult.
That brings us to the Lemmings swag. It's charming to see the heat changing mug come to life as you pour in the contents of a kettle, whilst on the flip side, somewhat upsetting to see them die off with each sip of your chosen hot beverage. At least they'd be just fine with taking one for the team. A set of fridge magnets completes the Lemmings kitchenalia, with a range of assets allowing you to build your own levels in a momentarily amusing distraction.
So was this collection of random gubbins worth the money? Technically, yes. A little research revealed that buying just a few of the items individually would quickly amount to a higher figure, but that's pretty irrelevant when you wouldn't buy most of the stuff in the first place.
A one-off novelty purchase hasn't left us with a sour-taste, but we are left somewhat baffled as to why anyone would continually partake. The one legitimate use for a subscription box that we can think of, is as an encompassing gift to that one person that's incredibly hard to buy for. You might get lucky and make them happy, whereas if it's full of shit, they get comeuppance for being so difficult - win-win.
As you can see from my screenshot above, Dark Souls III's a beautiful thing. Until it brutally slaughters you without mercy, that is.
Of the bountiful deaths, one specifically hurt more than any other, coming at the cost of 66,000 Souls. In an effort to maintain composure, I simply stood up, turned the console off and walked away. Not a single expletive was uttered, which crippyd can attest is a sterling display of self-control.
"It's an absolute killer when that happens! I remember losing about 100K in DS2 and the air was a little blue!"
I soldiered on to bring you our review.
John went on to theorise that Warner Brothers might want to "make up the money they lost from the Arkham Knight PC disaster." A fair shout. For those that don't remember the troubled launch, Tom made a video detailing some of the issues back when the PC version hadn't yet been entirely given up on.
Confused Johnny got a little ahead of himself following our recent increase in event coverage, asking "is PTC going to send someone to E3 this year?" Whilst he had a great idea for a Twitch-streamed tournament to decide who had the honour of representing us, James had to let him down gently with the news that we aren't quite there yet (maybe one day with your continued support).
It isn't all bad news, though, as last year's E3 Hub will return to bring you livestreams of all the press conferences, instant chat (I'll be there) and coverage galore!
Whilst the PTC community have been somewhat down on the upcoming DOOM reboot in the past, Rob's unbridled enthusiasm for the old-school throwback was on proud display in his preview. The bug seems to have spread, with sceptic Timmeh555 revisiting the beta and developing an appreciation for it the second time around. Liam enjoyed it as well, though everyone was in agreement that some additional ambient sound was necessary to break the game's lingering silences. Who knew hell's inhabitants were so noise-conscious and considerate?
Metalrodent hasn't been extending similar courtesy to non-player characters this week. Here the delinquent harasses a guy that's just minding his own business before karma instantly comes a-knocking.
I love that she holds her head and writhes around, which seems a bit sadistic on reflection...
Rodent also very nearly killed a crowd of spectators in Dirt Rally - his recklessness knows no bounds!
With their nerves undoubtedly shot, the shaken spectators could definitely do with giving this week's jukebox entry a listen.
Mirror's Edge Catalyst media ramped-up this week as we creep ever-closer to its impending release. Whilst many people have fixated on the new progression system, I was reminded of how much I enjoyed the original - and more specifically - the original's serene main theme. Have a listen and relax as it caresses all the right bits of your ears.
Before I go, the folks at Drop Dead Interactive were kind enough to give us a copy of Gear Gauntlet on Xbox One to give away. Simply answer the following question correctly in the forum thread, on our Facebook page, or tweet us you answer @pass_controller - best of luck!
Who provided the soundtrack for Gear Gauntlet?
A) James Michael Parry's Discotheque Dilemma
B) Bill Clinton and the Tinned Impeachments
C) Stephen Matthew White
D) Sam Sant & and the Smote SMITE-IES
Vote D (trust me, I'd know).
Why not head over to our Forum, Facebook or Twitter and read up on even more of the week's happenings? Get involved in the conversation and you might even feature in a future edition.
Super Icon Ltd’s Rich Hill-Whittall is no stranger to the indie world; as well as making games he’s also the writer of The Indie Game Developer Handbook. Rich was good enough to discuss current game Life of Pixel, falling out with Sony, the tribulations of the industry, the SNES, and being inspired by his son to create new game Best Buds vs. Bad Guys with us. Enjoy.
What inspired you and your team during the development stage? Was the educational side of the game there from the beginning?
First and foremost the systems themselves, and their graphic limitations. Then the games we grew up with. While designing Life of Pixel, I wanted to pay homage to as many of those games as I could. Several levels have themed sections with nods to many different games, such as Uridium, Paradroid, Castlevania, Jet Set Willy, Exolon, Ghosts’n Goblins, Rick Dangerous, Sonic, Super Mario, Monty Mole, Blagger, Exile, Pitfall, Chucky Egg, Citadel, Megaman, Altered Beast, Streets of Rage. There are many more too.
The educational/machine info was added later in the development – just to give a little more info on each system for those unfamiliar with any of the machines.
Can you tell us about your team at Super Icon Ltd?
Super Icon was founded in 2012, initially working on PlayStation. We then started work on PC, releasing a couple of games onto Steam (Life of Pixel and Vektor Wars), later porting them over to Wii U. We also have Xbox One kits we are very keen to get all our games onto, and we are planning Vita versions too. We’ve done a lot of Playstation stuff over the years – going back before Super Icon was formed. We kind of fell out with Sony for a bit during a tough spell (my fault entirely), so I am looking forward to getting back onto Playstation and rebuilding a relationship with Sony.
We’re based in Cornwall, having recently relocated from London. The team is small, currently there are the 3 of us – Claire, who handles business development, Steve, who is our coder and myself, all things art/design/audio.
From time to time we also work with freelance artists and musicians, and the odd extra coder as needed.
How difficult is it for indie developers in this current market? Can you take artistic risks and still make a profit?
Eek – OK – I’ll be honest here, even though it isn’t perhaps a very inspirational answer.
From our perspective it is incredibly tough. We don’t make anywhere near enough in sales to pay a proper living wage to any of us. I think it is particularly tough if you have family – Claire and I (who are also married) have had to move out of houses a few times as we couldn’t afford rent, and the upheaval is severe. I love creating games, but really struggle with the marketing side of things and bringing in a regular cash flow. So many times we just haven’t really had enough money to even cover basic bills, which is frustrating as it slows development down.
I think as a studio we’re good at making games – and so far the three of us have developed and released over 30 games together on a variety of platforms. But we are crap at promoting and selling those games.
I think the best advice would be to work with others with a different range of skills – and if you are starting a studio find someone with either a good marketing background, or the "gift of the gab"...
What advice would you give to someone looking to work in the video gaming industry?
Hmmm… creatively it can be wonderful, incredibly exciting to realise your vision and very rewarding to get a game out to market. I think the best advice would be to work with others with a different range of skills – and if you are starting a studio find someone with either a good marketing background, or the ‘gift of the gab’ - someone who can get out there and engage with the players and effectively promote your game.
What game(s) have had the biggest affect on your life, and why?
Definitely Life of Pixel; it is the game players have enjoyed the most out of all the games I have created. That means a lot – to speak to people that enjoy playing a game you have made, especially as I loved creating Pixel so much. Even though financially it hasn’t really worked, I feel very positive about Pixel and the whole development process. I learned a lot, good and bad, and I am very happy we made Pixel.
Can you tell us about upcoming games Vektor Wars & Best Buds vs. Bad Guys?
Vektor Wars – do you remember the intro to Escape From New York? The glider bit with Kurt Russell looking at the wireframe city as he flew in? I never forgot that – I always wanted to play a game set in a proper 80s style neon drenched wireframe world. I wanted to shoot lots of stuff too – after Pixel I thought it was time to get some guns in, and what better to shoot than nasty evil robot invaders?!
So we have a retro arcade FPS, one with a unique aesthetic, a load of different guns and wave after wave of deadly robot scum to destroy!
Best Buds vs. Bad Guys – the idea came about from my son, Lucas and myself - we call each other Best Buds in real life, and we both thought it would be fun to create a game where we have to battle bad guys in a virtual world. This time I went back to late 80s, early 90s Arcades (there is definitely a theme to my game designs!). So we went with a pixelated 16-bit Arcade machine style, with plenty of modern touches including detailed background animation, multi-layered parallax backgrounds, weather and special effects.
It is a run ‘n’ gun with gigantic evil bosses and over 100 enemies to fight, many of which were drawn on paper or built in Lego by Lucas before getting pixelated and animated. Like Pixel, there are quite a few references to classic games, such as Ghosts ’n Goblins, Green Beret, Bionic Commando, Black Tiger, Karnov, Doom and loads more!
We’re in the later stages of development now, and are really trying to make something special.
If you were on a desert island (it has power) and could only take one console, what would you take, and why?
I think it would be a SNES. So many classic games, so many that I would still like to properly play through. I also think the SNES had some of the very best examples of pixel art – the extra colours it offered over the Amiga and Megadrive really made the difference.
Thanks to Rich and Claire from Super Icon Ltd. Life of Pixel is out now on Wii U, PC, Mac & Linux.
Just above you can see me sporting the signature hockey mask of Jason Voorhees in Mortal Kombat X. Whilst that's very nice, I hear you asking quite how it's relevant? Know that the unfortunate decapitee was Plasma wing, and I'm sure all becomes clear.
Plas made the above on Paint, which goes to show he has a better grasp of the programme than he does gaming. What a good sport.
Check out one of the amusing modified matches in my clip below to get an idea of the Tower Battle mode's insanity.
If you're itching for a game of MKX, or any other fighter for that matter, head over to the Fighters Thread where you'll be sure to find a sparring partner. Or a punching bag, in Plas' case.
Whilst you're there, head over to the Off Topic Forum and take a peek at the sizeable assets on display in the Models Thread - they're sure to get your hands sticky.
Probably should change the name of the thread... errr... just for clarification!
I'm not sure what there is to misinterpret, Johnny? ...
But seriously, prolific modellers Metalrodent and Heavyarms_Kai return with some larger-than-usual scale reproductions to add to their ever-growing collections.
Kai actually does have some cheeky snaps for us this week, making good on his previous promise (and making up for my above deception): "DoA Xtreme 3 arrived today. The screenshot thread is about to get very interesting."
I expect to see some in-depth analysis of the gameplay in the Ratings Thread soon. That's what you based the purchase on, right?
Whilst we're talking ratings, last week's round-up touched upon the fact that Quantum Break had largely won over the community despite some otherwise mixed reviews. It seems that now the honeymoon period's passed, spirits aren't quite so high. ImmaturityRules cites "a massive difficulty spike at the end, general wonkiness in the movement and gunplay and an absurd amount of collectibles" as definite downsides to the strong narrative experience. MrkDhn10 also found these to be issues.
James looked a little more favourably upon the game in our official review, which you can catch in glorious video form below.
It's a similar case with Dark Souls III, as this time last week everybody was eagerly awaiting it, but now we find series superfan crippyd just isn't "feeling it". We'll have an official verdict on this one for you next week, so keep an eye out for the review.
You might also recall last week's clip in which Metalrodent executed a teetering manoeuvre during a bout of GTA: Online's Sumo Adversary Mode. Decent Jam was the victim in that instance, but he gets a degree of payback this week with the submission of a clip that sees lightning fail to strike twice.
I couldn't not share this next one as well, in which Jam's handed victory when ninjadan manages to squeeze both himself and Rodent down a tiny gap between two shipping containers. If he'd done it intentionally, I'd have been impressed.
PTC Liam shared an important life lesson regarding the acquisition of power weapons in online shooters; however tempting it is to just stand and wait for them to spawn, it's never a good idea. Here's a Halo 5 visual aid.
Crazy driving clips are all the rage at the moment, with Trackmania Turbo and Mario Kart 8 now joining GTA V's ranks.
Liam managed to secure both a Gold Medal and, less impressively, a twelfth place finish with a couple of outlandish and frankly questionable tactics when crossing the line in Trackmania.
Meanwhile, Kai shared some highlights from his attempt to beat the 100cc AI as Link on the Hyrule Circuit.
I have to give it to Nintendo - MKTV makes for some pretty snazzy clips!
We'll finish this week with a track that's kept me sat at the main menu in Dark Souls III for far too long. Stick some headphones on, turn the volume up and absorb this beauty.
Demons, hell, blood, guts and glorious super shotgun blasts; it can only be Doom! This weekend id Software’s new entry in the series has an open beta test, so whether you’re on Xbox One, PS4 or PC, you can try the online multiplayer component free of charge(and we’d recommend you do).
waterfalls of blood, fiery pits of lava and shiny metal platforms provide the backdrop for multiple-murder...
The pace of the game is fabulously frantic, the action moving along not only at speed but with a silky smooth frame-rate too. The graphics are decent; waterfalls of blood, fiery pits of lava and shiny metal platforms providing the backdrop for multiple-murder. The weapons look great too, in particular the super shotgun with its huge barrels jutting outwards towards your victim(s). Unfortunately though, the character models are one part Halo, one part Power Rangers, and really don’t fit the 90s blood-and-heavy-metal style of play. We’d like id to throwaway the god-awful post-match celebrations too please - can’t we just have the losers getting turned to a bloody pulp, instead of the disco-dancing?
The action itself gazes triumphantly back to the late 90s - expect health kits, ammo crates and armour vests as well as special weapons and abilities to be available around the map. Becoming the Revenant (turning into a colossal demon) affords the player the joy of devastating rocket power, increased health, and a boisterous jetpack. The controls reflect this fun, arcadey simplicity; sticks for movement and aiming, one button for jump (tap twice for double-jump), and triggers and bumpers for weapon usage. This really is a throwback, the kind of online multiplayer popularised by Quake 3 and Unreal Tournament, and feels like a fresh injection after all the CODs, Battlefields and dense RPG-likes such as the upcoming Overwatch.
A couple of minor concerns did arise from our playtime, mind (on-top of the character models and post-match dances); the complete lack of feedback in the controller, and the minimal sound-effects and music in-game. The absence of rumble effects in the pad seems very strange; every blast of the gun and every bullet taken should correspond to a sharp, deep quivering from the pad, but nothing takes place. Similarly the lack of sounds minus gunshot were strange, with the only the odd footstep or fall contributing to the beta’s aural offerings. Fingers crossed these irritations will be eradicated in time for launch, and that the heavy metal soundtrack from the menus makes the odd appearance in-game.
This beta has sufficiently whetted our appetite for Doom - we can’t wait to get our hands on the finished game. If the single player follows the multi-player beta and forgoes bland, bloated storytelling for bold, brutal fun, then we’re in for a treat. We have everything crossed in anticipation.
Have you played the Doom open beta? Will you be picking the game up at launch? Let us know your thoughts on the forums.
An overground train arriving in the underground of Shadwell (around 80 steps to the surface if I recall correctly) fired me towards Tobacco Dock, the home of EGX Rezzed again this year. Anyone struggling with directions need not have worried; for a procession of bespectacled, self-aware folks (yours truly included) led the way.
Mario Kart-like Coffin Dodgers provided me with a few minutes of entertainment, but nothing hugely inspirational - it played well enough to convince me that the multiplayer could be a good laugh, mind.
Gear Gauntlet played a devious hybrid of puzzle/platformer that had me quite addicted; guiding your gear through - you’ve guessed it - a gauntlet of treachery, you must hold down buttons that correspond to coloured walls (A is green, and so on) to progress to the end goal. This has one-more-go syndrome built into it, so keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming release.
Skylar & Plux: Adventure on Clover Island and Subnautica both tickled my taste-buds, but ultimately left me a little disappointed for similar reasons; frame-rate and camera issues in the former, and frame-rate and appalling texture pop-in in the latter. It’s worth noting that both are early builds, however. Skylar & Plux had a gorgeous art style, and played a decent game of 3D platforming that will please fans of Ratchet & Clank. Subnautica had beautiful water effects to perfectly match its attempt at underwater exploration, so let's just hope that the teams behind both games will smooth out the technical side of things before release.
...a place crammed full of interesting games, interesting people, and not-so-interesting smells...
Number one for me from the Xbox area was The Last Word, a charming, personal platformer set partly inside a diary. The game tells the tale of a young girl coming to grips with her Grandmother’s stroke, with certain elements of the story (like the protagonist’s name) left in your hands. The differing art styles from the levels in the diary itself, to levels set in what we can only imagine is the girl’s imagination, provided a sumptuous juxtaposition. The game’s designer Mark Backler warned us that it could be a while until the game sees the light of day - don’t worry Mark, we’ll still be here whenever it’s ready.
Next I ventured downstairs to the halls of the Indie room, a place crammed full of interesting games, interesting people, and not-so-interesting smells. The warming blue and orange colours of Binaries attracted me almost instantly, with the game itself also proving to be a real contender in the puzzle genre. One stick controls the movement of both an orange coloured dot, and a blue coloured dot - traversing the cavernous terrain you must reach the end goals and seat each colour in its respectively coloured position to pass the level - just watch out for spikes!
Nature’s Zombie Apocalypse, Super Dungeon Bros, Super Arcade Football and The Breakfast Club provided some much needed local multiplayer madness next. NZA puts you in the shoes/webbed feet of ducks and other animals as they blast away at the undead - a fun little game but nothing exceptional. SDB played like a cartoon edition of Gauntlet, and much like NZA it was fun, whilst certainly not groundbreaking. SAF played like a more controlled Kick-Off/Sensible Soccer, with attractive toonish player models and brightly coloured playing surfaces. We enjoyed a few closely fought contests and predict this’ll be an excellent game to play with friends, pizza and beer. The build we played of The Breakfast Club was an early one, but the group chaos of manipulating knives, forks, toasters and the like to make breakfast was very amusing.
Black & White Bushido and Featherpunk Prime rounded out my time in the indie room. Bushido is a highly stylised multiplayer beat-’em-up, where you fight as ninjas from either the white clan or the black. This colour dynamic is highlighted with a black & white backdrop, allowing the player to use stealth to his or her advantage. I had good fun with this one, playing many rounds. Featherpunk is a Metroidvania type game, with all the fun and potential frustration that the genre entails. I enjoyed the bits I played, and the poster above the booth was neon perfection.
The leftfield collection provided me with one of my most hilarious moments of the day, as I played through a few games of Pool Panic. In the game you control a cue ball, blasting target balls and enemy balls into pockets, off ledges and into water with some wonderful, amusing animations. Developer Mike told us not to expect the game anytime soon - but was decent enough to inform us that it is “the least realistic pool simulator around”.
Next up was the biggie - PlayStation and PSVR. The Sony indie offerings were pretty slim, with most of their space taken up with VR and those ghastly blue lights. I did manage to sit down and play a few games of Dino Dini’s Kick-Off Revival, the return of one of the Godfathers of football gaming. Purists will be pleased to hear that the game plays as if FIFA and PES never happened. One button controls, after-touch and close control are the keys to being Barcelona or Barnet. Football fans will be pleased to hear that online and local multiplayer options will be available in the final build.
PSVR came next - I was booked in for a 30 minute slot with the new technology (it actually turned out to be ten minutes, I was not best pleased), playing the game SUPERHYPERCUBE. The game is a fully 3D Tetris, where you manipulate shapes to fit through a hole in a distant wall. As you progress more and more blocks get added to your shape, forcing you to crane your neck round the corner to decipher the puzzle. It was simple, it was addictive, it was fun, but ultimately - and this goes for the other VR experiences I saw at the show - £350 plus for this new technology is just too decadent a dessert at this stage. Those who can afford VR will definitely have fun (be it on their own - something I’m personally skeptical about - or as a party piece), I’m just not convinced it’s the finished article yet.
PTC Hetty took the time to introduce us to her Elder Scrolls Online character, Unicorn McSparklepants the Wood Elf, who's dark and brooding image makes the name somewhat unfitting. With a name so outlandish, I wonder what the mount's called? Tigress O'Sprinklesocks, perhaps? Oh, Goose DeShinysaddle? ... "Snowmane"? That seems a bit tame.
The premise is a simple one: you're stuck on an island and can miraculously play four games - which do you choose to fill your abundant free time? PTC Hetty posted a forum thread to ask exactly that, which saw a surprising amount of cross-over.
Just like Crisco, PTC Bezza and Confused Johnny would opt for an entry in the Grand Theft Auto series, though the latter two would elect GTAV over the former's San Andreas. The Fallout franchise also received a lot of love, Crisco electing 4, Metalrodent 3 and Bezza using his noggin to opt for the Anthology. The big cheater.
Bezza's other picks comprise of Metal Gear Solid and the recent XCOM 2, whilst Johnny prefers to kick it old school with V-Rally 2 on Dreamcast and WWF No Mercy on N64. Rodent's remaining slots go to Halo 3, Pokémon Sapphire and Call of Duty 4; though it's a shame none of them will allow him to show off his deft skills behind the wheel.
Yet as one hand giveth, the other hand taketh, and universal balance is restored.
Not quite such a skilful display on that occasion.
Whilst we're talking fails, PTC l1am shared a pretty spectacular one courtesy of Star Wars Battlefront's Drop Zone mode and a crafty player's hidden proximity mine:
The incident lead Liam to the realisation that "Rebels are 90% Helium."
No fails from Plasma wing this week, which will undoubtedly make him feel a tad unloved, but he can at least take it as indication of his improved level of play. Haha.
Everybody's been getting stuck into Quantum Break following its release on Tuesday, and whilst reviews have been mixed, the PTC community are united in their opinion.
Whilst ticking ImmaturityRules' boxes, MrkDhn10 is "certainly enjoying the game", and the story has captivated bongmaster00 to the point of being "utterly brilliant". TippiestRook's also finding it "really good", though despite the big-budget production, he finds the mix of live-action and gameplay reminiscent of a Twisted Pixel game. Not sure the Remedy folk would take that as a complement.
I haven't had chance to play my copy yet, which you're all making me regret.
The community weren't quite so agreeable on the deluge of Final Fantasy XV announcements that came from the Uncovered event in LA. Confused Johnny was so excited that he could apparently "shit pink" - if you just aren't with it and don't know, "that's high levels of excitement!" Johnbhoy69 was Johnny's solitary partner in excitement (perhaps it comes with the name?)
Elsewhere, there was a resounding lack of interest. I'm not a fan of the series, but said I might try the demo (haven't yet); Liam was in the same boat; Plas actually plans to get the game and "wouldn't say [he] was excited"(?); Chris isn't a fan of the battle system - the absence of Final Fantasy nut Hetty and lover of all things Japanese, Heavyarms_Kai, from the thread speaks even louder volumes. Tough crowd.
There's another big release just around the corner in Dark Souls 3, and whilst many are eagerly awaiting release, Plasma wing is more excited about Dark Souls Tea.
He is from Yorkshire, to be fair, which means his body actually consists of around 60% tea, rather than water. Enter into an Xbox Live party with him and you'll hear Plas hurriedly guzzling the stuff down to maintain function.
Whilst MrkDhn10, fracturedrich and crippyd are desperate to get their hands on Dark Souls 3, they pale in comparison to Johnbhoy69: "Checking my emails hourly to see if it's been dispatched yet... praying it comes early." The dedication's admirable, but I'm not sure either checking your emails or asking for divine intervention will improve your chances. Sorry.
I've had my hands on a copy for a few days now, and man, I can't wait until you guys see the bit when [REDACTED].
"Hey staff peeps, can you add a segment to the community round-up for video game music like the OXM jukebox?" Not quite sure I remember what that is, but ask and you shall receive what I perceive it to be! There's only one way to kick an epic new segment off, so lets wrap this sucker up and go home to be a family man.
I'm sure you're familiar with the premise of this: you are stranded, alone, on a deserted island with only a handful of albums. Like that, but with games.
Here are my top four games that I could play forever. Or until I'm rescued, which shouldn't be too long actually, given that this desert island is somehow marvellously well equipped and has electricity and an internet connection.
The story and characters are what make the experience really special. The protagonist, Carl "CJ" Johnson, his philosophical friend, Big Smoke, and even corrupt cop, Frank Tenpenny, are all beautifully realised individuals with their own agendas. And who could forget the delightfully insane man known only as "The Truth"?
It's more gritty than the bright, neon world of Vice City but it doesn't ever feel grim. There are laughs aplenty from the host of colourful characters and an underlying feeling of hope as you help CJ escape gang life. Or maybe I'm reading too much into a game about high speed police chases.
With so much to see and do it's a must play for any Grand Theft Auto fan and definitely desert island material.
Mortal Kombat: Deception
Fighting games aren't generally known for their in-depth stories. You usually just attack people because you need to win a tournament, or because breast physics are a thing, or because they were standing in front of you.
Mortal Kombat is different. It has a rich backstory to delve into and no game is better to explore that back story than Deception.
Konquest mode puts you in the sandals of Earthrealm warrior Shujinko. Given a quest by Damashi, an ancient spirit, you must travel throughout the six realms searching for pieces of a powerful artifact. On his lifelong quest Shujinko will meet many of the game's iconic characters. Some will help, some will hinder, but all can be punched. If you didn't want to get punched, Sub-Zero, you shouldn't have been standing in front of me. Don't you know the rules?
The konquest mode is mainly exploration and talking to the various inhabitants of each realm, punctuated by the standard bouts of extreme violence that you would expect from a Mortal Kombat title.
Whilst the fighting now feels slow and clunky when compared to the most recent installments, the real fun is in wandering around the discrete landscapes and soaking up the deep lore.
Plus there's Chess Kombat. Yep, that's a thing.
Project Spark will be a breath of fresh air after the blood and gore of my previous choices but that's not why it makes the list. It's because of the wealth of stories that can be, and have been, told.
It may have its limits, whether they be the fairly strict animations, the steep learning curve or the lack of a proper step-by-step tutorial, but the only hard limit is your imagination. If you can think it up, you can create a passable simile of it.
The game lends itself better to certain styles - a Fable-esque RPG, for example, will be easier to create than a 2D fighting game - but with enough time and patience you could forge a stealth based first person shooter or a narrative driven story.
The main resources for budding creators seem to be either YouTube or the game itself, with many 'worlds' dedicated to helping others learn Kode and use the editor in ways they may not have considered.
Project Spark has received many updates since it first launched and now that Team Dakota have dropped the free-to-play model and given everyone access to all content I'm sure to find something to keep myself entertained, right? And if not, I can finish one of the many projects I started over a year ago. It's not like I have much else to do on this boring, high-tech island.
This may be an obvious choice. Those who have played it (i.e. everyone) will no doubt agree that it's one of Bethesda's best. It's a massive open world, that's absolutely packed with stuff. Just... so much stuff.
I find the missions incredibly hard to do because I get sidetracked. No matter where I am, or where I'm going, there's always a new location to discover or someone with a quest or yes, yes Preston, another settlement needs my help.
I haven't actually progressed that far into the story. I like to think I'm making my own story. It's part I Am Legend and part DIY show. Essentially it's a man and a dog on a never-ending quest for duct tape and wonderglue.
Occasionally I'll meet a new face and not launch junk at it. We'll start talking and I'll ask them about my son. It's then I realise that I've spent so much time looking for resources that he's probably an old man now. Maybe he has a base of his own, a couple of grandkids and a crazy friend who constantly badgers him for chems.
With all of the upcoming DLC and official mod support the game is only going to get bigger, better and weirder.
Since I'm stuck on this island for a while longer I might actually be able to get something done. What's that? Another settlement? Never a moment's peace in this post-nuclear apocalypse.
Share your Desert Island Downloads with us over in the forums.