Rob's 2018 Christmas Stocking Stuffers

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Christmastime, beige platters and booze, enough of Dad’s jokes, I’m off for a snooze… It’s that time of year again, folks: tubs o’ Twiglets, too many choccos, and wondering what to get that discerning gamer in your life. Luckily for you, we’ve got that last one covered!

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by ​Bobby Ho-Ho-Holt

@pass_controller

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My Arcade Micro Players

We were lucky enough to be sent two units from the latest Data East-themed batch of Micro Players: clunky, dated fighter Karate Champ, and the absolute arcade classic, Burger Time.

Both machines are adorned with fun stickers on the sides, removable joysticks - allowing use of the d-pad underneath - decent colour screens, solid buttons and satisfyingly clicky power switches. The units also feature headphone jacks (thankfully, as we know a few people that get agitated by vintage arcade audio tones) and a pair of power options, those being four AA batteries, or micro USB. We should add that neither are included in the box.

So, they look the part, but how do they actually play? If we’re being honest here, these things are a nostalgic bit of fun not designed for lengthy play sessions, and that shows. You’ll need to rest the unit on a book or desk, adopting either a classic, claw-like grip or, if your hands are smaller, a modified gamepad grip to play the games.

As mentioned above, the screens are plenty good enough and the sound from the rear speaker gets the job done too. We’d definitely recommend playing with the d-pad instead of the poor screw-on stick though, as the controls are much more precise, which is absolutely blinking vital when assembling cuisine in Burger Time. Emulation fascists will also be pleased to hear that everything runs smoothly.

No, these aren’t handheld behemoths, but the £25-30 RRP reflects this. If we were to find one of these in our stocking this year, we’d be well chuffed - just make sure it's the likes of Burger Time or Bad Dudes, yeah?

4/5 figgy puddings

​Retro-Bit Super Retro-Cade

Well, this one was a real find. Throw the PlayStation Classic away, retire the SNES Mini, and get stuck into an arcade emulation machine with a world of expansion opportunities.

​Included in the fabulously decorated box are 90 - yes, 90 - arcade and console titles from the likes of Data East, Irem and Capcom that were popular during the late 80s through to the mid 90s. Add to that two SNES-style controllers, and you have a decent package straight out of the box. The whole thing is worth it for Magical Drop and the SHMUPS alone, if you ask me…

Victory in the mini-console wars is achieved, however, with the ease that one can customise the Retro-Cade, simply by loading games onto an SD card and then banging it in the back. Brilliant! 

4.5/5 mince pies

Northgard
Platforms: PC

The last time I really got into a strategy game was late 1999, when Command & Conquer launched on my beloved N64. I’ve flirted with Civilisation, and given a cursory glance to Tropico, but Northgard really is up my street.

A good old RTS game set in a Norse world of Vikings, Northgard tasks you and your band of Northmen with plundering a new continent, building bases and conquering foes. You don’t need a roided-up PC to play it either, and it’s ruddy good value at £24 on Steam.

4.5/5 toy viking warships

The Videokid
Platforms: PS4, Xbox One, Switch, PC

Imagine a combo of 80s arcade hit Paperboy and Hipster Whale’s mobile smash Crossy Road, and you’re pretty much there.  A pop culture-packed arcade-athon, The Videokid will appeal to people who grew up in that glorious age of gaming, as well as youngsters with a love of all things instant. 

It’s under £4 across the platforms, so perfect for stuffing that digital stocking!

Tech-decks/5

Owlboy
Platforms: PS4, Xbox One, Switch, PC

A charming independent adventure game that provokes memories of many 16-bit,  side-scrolling classics, Owlboy possesses gorgeous art, amusing dialogue and a signature mute protagonist. Our personal highlights are the excellent orchestral soundtrack, vast dungeons, big bosses and fun-fuelled flight mechanic - imagine Nights into Dreams funnelled through Nintendo-vision!

4.5/5 pixelated Santas

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Will you be picking any of these suggestions up as last minute prezzies? Perhaps you're hoping to receive one yourself? Let us know in the comments below.

Regardless, have a great Christmas and we'll see you back here for more stocking stuffers in 2019!