Taken for a Quickie | Cultist Simulator

---

Welcome, welcome, one and all to a dark and dangerous evening filled with cards, strange characters, initially dense gameplay ideas and bags of longevity. Was ist das? Well, Alexis Kennedy’s new game, Cultist Simulator, of course.

---

by Rob
​Holt

---

@acousticmagic

---

Developer: Weather
Factory
Publisher: Humble
​Bundle
​Platforms: PC
​Players: 1

Cultist Simulator...?

Perhaps not in the way you might be thinking. You start this game of cards with a limited deck and a quest to find a job, some money and good health. From there, the game’s branching narrative swiftly heats up, as you come into contact with a range of characters and situations in which playing your cards right - while watching out for the pesky detective - will begin to lay the groundwork in establishing your very own cult.

Owffff. Sounds tricky.

Initially, it really is. We played a good couple of hours before we realised how to keep the game not only moving along, but going at all, thanks to the punishing mental and physical health deterioration mechanics. It’s definitely a slow-burner, but what’s really interesting to note (alongside the crazy longevity) is how enjoyable the experience of discovery is right from laying card one on the table.

So it’s more than just a card game, then?

Absolutely. Those unwilling to look beyond face value (the cover art is bloody marvellous, mind) are, how-you-say, Silly Billies.

What about the presentation?

We had the game running at highest settings (though can’t imagine there’s a huge difference between presets in this instance), and although there’s not a great deal going on, it’s quite lovely. Both the table and cards have muted, pastel-y colours that really complement the cracking sound effects and music.

It’s nearly £15 quid on Steam; is that too much?

No, not at all. We’ve played our fair share (and more) of overpriced, average indie games, but this really isn’t one of them. The branching narrative paths are a delight and the deep gameplay systems beg for repeat play - if you’ve got a PC, we implore you to have a crack at this mysterious gem.