Taken for a Quickie | Dino Dini’s Kick-Off Revival

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In these modern footballing times it’s not uncommon to see expertly coiffured hair, diamond encrusted earrings, and luminous-boot-wearing defenders alongside the beautiful game itself. Hope does exist for those of you that miss the golden age of perms, headbutting the ball/goalkeeper into the net, and John Motson’s ghastly jackets, though, as legendary developer Dino Dini returns with Kick-Off Revival, the plucky underdog to title-challengers FIFA 18 & PES 2018.

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by Rob
​Holt

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@acousticmagic

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Developer: Koo Games
Publisher: The Digital
Lounge
Platforms: PS4, PS Vita,
PC
Players: 1 - 2

It’s a throwback to simpler times, then?

You betcha! Those hoping for modern visuals, multi-button controls, abysmal current chart music and shed loads of options need not apply, for this is football boiled down to its simplest form - and it’s as hardcore as you’re ever likely to get in a sports game.

I see - so does it play like Barcelona or Portsmouth?

Unfortunately, KOR leans firmly towards the Portsmouth end of the footballing spectrum (honestly, chums, I’m not a Saints fan…). The one-button controls give off the promise of an easy-to-pick-up-but-difficult-to-master game of football, though, in reality, they only achieve the latter. This wouldn’t be an issue if the game came with an excellent tutorial, but the practice mode and its ugly, retro instructions only manage to solidify the feeling of an open goal missed.

​It took us quite a few games before we scored a goal by design, instead of by luck, with both sets of players wandering the pitch in a seemingly random, headless-chicken formation that reminded us of our days playing under tens footy.

That’s a shame. Does the presentation help matters at all?

We’re going to have to say no again, regrettably. The simple sprites of the players and ball are fine, but the overly simplistic crowd and stadium are the kind of retro aesthetic that gladly died in the late ‘80s. KOR only provides the player with one pitch type too - Dino and his team really should’ve looked to Kick-Off-inspired Super Arcade Football for ideas in this key area of play. The delightful spring in the net every time a goal goes in is fabulous, mind.

This is football boiled down to its simplest form - and it’s as hardcore as you’re ever likely to get in a sports game.

Anything else hamper Kick-Off Revival’s title challenge?

Well, the severe lack of options holds the game back from the opening whistle. To only provide players with three modes in exhibition, European Cup (based loosely on Euro 2016) and online play (no problems with lag, but it’s no FIFA Seasons/PES Divisions) would have been stingy twenty years ago, but is downright criminal in these modern times.  

So, it’s safe to assume the underdog won’t be winning the cup?

KOR tries its best to stand up for the little man, but unfortunately finds itself knocked out of the competition at the group stages. The lack of modes and sheer difficulty of mastering the controls ruin what could have been a joyously simple return to pure football. If you’ve got a pal for local fun then perhaps consider going for it, otherwise, fire up that dusty old copy of Sensible Soccer for your retro footballing fix.

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Dino Dini’s Kick-Off Revival is available now for £7.99 on PS4 and PS Vita, and £6.99 on Steam.